Why Do Women Cheat?
By Krewe de Becks.
April 30, 2010
Some people often remember certain movies and TV shows when they talk about women cheating, like Sex and the City, The Scarlet Letter, Indecent Proposal, Bridges of Madison County and more. All too often, the debates on infidelity focus on men cheating. Whereas this may be the more openly known and prevalent situation, it is not the only one. In reality, women are just as prone as men to commit infidelity, although the purpose of the infidelity may be different from the fellow cheaters in Part One.
In all fairness, I have decided to explore the phenomenon just like I did with “Why Do Men Cheat?” There have been several reasons explained to me for why women choose to engage in an affair/infidelity, presented here, in no particular order:
1) Settling of Scores
When a woman’s trust has been broken, she will try to convey the same feeling of anger or heartbreak through her actions. Since emotions are sometimes hard to explain, they make their lover feel the same pain and betrayal she did. When a woman gets cheated on, she’ll feel like a charging bull with sharp horns…you being her red-painted target. Following this same logic/train of thought, what a better way to make the lover understand the pain she’s experienced than to punish her lover with a taste of their own medicine? Thus, by cheating, she evens the score.
2) Boudoir Boredom or Sporadic Sexual Activity
When relationships begin there is much excitement about physical contact and those encounters are often spontaneous, thrilling and even in random places. In other words, its fun, the woman feels desired, attractive and excited. As time goes by, the routine changes, and after the so-called “honeymoon phase” things start to settle down a bit. With this routine the priorities come back to normal, and making love is not as important as it was before because life gets in the way of that aspect of your relationship. Sex turns monotonous, thus the woman will seek that thrill and excitement elsewhere.
3) Major changes in her life
When a woman experiences a significant change in her life (e.g. a loss, new job, mid-life crisis, plastic surgery or significant weight loss) she could engage in this behavior as a response to it, and are more prone to do so if the communication with her lover is poor. When she finds herself lacking the necessary amount of intimacy for her to feel safe enough to talk about (and process) the changes in her life, she’ll seek some kind of intimate relationship with someone else.
4) Self-Esteem
Regardless of whether a woman has low or high self-esteem, a woman having an affair feels that she is attractive, desired and sexy- to someone at least, if it’s not her lover.
Usually, when the woman does not feel loved, valued and wanted by her lover, her self-esteem will take a hit. In order to have a booster she could potentially get involved in an affair, where not only will she feel the thrill of the new relationship, but also she’ll get what her lover is not providing.
5) Lack of Intimacy
This is one of the most common responses heard when it comes to adulterous women. Regardless of what the couple may have materialistically, when the relationship lacks intimacy and open communication, it is very easy for it to go astray. Just like most humans, women like to feel loved, safe and appreciated in their relationships. When that connection lacks (or is weak), she will begin to crave it more and could find it in the arms of another person willing to give her what she needs. It is often discussed that women are emotional cheaters before cheating physically, and when this is the case, the original relationship has been found to lack intimacy.
6) Neglect, Emotional Distance and Taking Her for Granted
When life gets in the way of your relationship, or the lover becomes selfish, or distances himself [or herself] from the woman, she will ultimately envision the relationship going down the toilet. She gives too much of herself and receives nothing (emotionally) or her lover shows lack of care or interest in her, then she’ll start backing out of the relationship.
She has emotional needs that are not fulfilled in her relationship, thus she’ll look elsewhere. Because things don’t change and she knows the end is inevitable, she begins to move on.
7) Exit Strategy
Instead of orchestrating the break up conversation, which may not lead to a break up, she cheats on her lover because (as many people see it) its the “ultimate relationship no-no” or the notorious “Point of no return”, and she knows that once she crosses that threshold there’s no turning back, so she does in order for her relationship to come to an end.
Does a woman’s search for intimacy and love justify the cheating? Is it different if its while dating than while being married? Does a woman’s needs answer the question?
Whether you can empathize with these reasons or think they are just excuses,they are a tad different from Men’s… or are they?
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